So…some news to report! I’ve been keeping it quiet for the last month or two, but I guess it’s time to let it all hang out. I have an opportunity to temporarily move abroad in the fall. I won’t get into too much detail about it yet, but watch this space!
This is actually a very tough decision for me for a variety of reasons. It’s a great opportunity, but I’m keenly aware of the fact that I have a nice life here in Durham. Do I want to continue nesting or leave on an unknown adventure? I like the home I’ve created in NC, but there’s always part of me that craves new experiences. At the same time, I’ve come to realize that happiness comes from within (and from the quality of my relationships with other people) much more so than from external experiences or factors.
I know that I don’t necessarily need to move away from Durham to get my adventure fix. I was proud of my solo travels in Patagonia earlier this year. Although I’ve done some solo travel in the past, this was by far the most adventurous trip I’ve ever taken. I didn’t know the language and had never traveled to South America. Patagonia conjures up images of barren wilderness, so it doesn’t sound like an ideal travel destination for a female on her own. That said, it’s so tourist-ed that I actually found it was an easy place to conquer solo.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve been cursed with shyness since birth. It’s held me back on many occasions and in many regards. It’s worn off some over the years, but it’s still central to who I am as a person. I’m learning to embrace it…
Because I’m shy, it’s surprising to some that I often take on big moves. I’m cautious, but I’m not shy about tackling a new challenge once I jump in. For some reason, traveling/living abroad makes it easier for me to come out of my shell. My good friend Catherine commented that I’m absolutely glowing in my Argentina pics. It’s true – I had a fabulous time there, even though I was flying solo.
At the same time, the outcome here is unknown, and I find that terrifying. I need to remind myself of my favorite Paulo Coelho quote:
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.”
In theory, I believe this is true, but it doesn’t always feel that way. It’s tempting to play it safe, to not put myself out there. I don’t risk failure that way…but will I always regret it?
I usually find that I don’t regret doing things nearly as much as I regret not doing them. We learn from failure and move on, but regrets linger.